


Pleasant Nightmares

by CloudNucleus



Category: Hollow Knight
Genre: Gen, Rated T for swears, Self-Indulgent, human joins the Grimm Troupe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-05
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2020-07-31 21:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20121760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudNucleus/pseuds/CloudNucleus
Summary: Kian is a new college student who enjoys singing and acting, but they're not sure what direction to take their life in. Nothing feels right... until they discover a beautiful red flame. As they discover the world of the Grimm Troupe, they realize they've found their calling... but at a price.(Note: please don't take this too seriously, I'm making it for fun and to indulge in my weird fantasies :))





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So! This story is just me fantasizing. I tried really hard to make Kian not a self insert, but surprise! I'm basically writing them as myself with a few minor differences. I suppose I could have just written myself into the story, but I don't want to do that because I want to be creative and also one time I actually DID have a dream about the Grimm Troupe and it occurred to me that I wouldn't want to join them because I have Responsibilities(tm).
> 
> I've had the idea for a story like this for a long time, but only got around to writing it now because I'm tired and stuck in bed because of a severe injury. Don't worry, I'll live. xD You get story now. Please enjoy story. I typed these notes twice because AO3 is a big dumb dumb and it's almost 6 freakin AM. You should also probably know that I'm not good at writing long stories so this is really just a practice story.

Kian hummed to themself as they stepped into the community college theater. Will and Justine were already waiting for them, sitting on the stage with their legs dangling off the edge.

“Hey guys!” they greeted, walking as fast as they could without running to get up the steps and onto the stage to join their friends. “Is Avery coming or are they just…” Kian paused to glance at their watch. “Okay, they’re not late, we’re just early.” They chuckled.

“Probably just grabbing a coffee,” Will said, shrugging his muscular shoulders.

“Got your script, Kian?” Justine asked, gesturing to the big binder she had open on her lap.

“‘Course I do!” Kian plopped down on the stage and pulled an equally-big binder from their backpack. They took a moment to admire the drawing they’d slipped into the front cover, then opened it to their current script.

“Lessee. How far can we get if we run through it without Avery?” Justine said, scanning the script.

“A few lines,” Will said with a short laugh.

“What’d I miss?” a high-pitched yet masculine voice called from the doorway.

“Oh, hey Avery! We haven’t started yet!” Kian told them. “Get over here!”

Will said his line to start the scene before Avery even made it to the stage, and like that, they began their rehearsal, with only a brief pause for Avery to open their script.

An hour passed and the theater instructor warned, “I’m closing up the theater in five minutes! Everyone pack up!”

It was pretty good timing - they’d just finished their fifth rehearsal in a row and were all feeling pretty good about it.

“Ready for tomorrow?” Justine asked cheerfully, zipping up her backpack. 

“When am I ever?” Avery joked.

“Hang on. I gotta go to the bathroom.” Kian left their backpack on the ground and ran out to do their business.

The theater instructor glanced at her watch as Kian hurried into the theater to grab their bag. They slowed a bit once they had their bag, and as they passed behind a curtain, the instructor took one last glance around the room and shut the door with Kian still inside.

They knew the door only locked from the outside, so they could leave any time they liked but would need someone else to open the door next time they wanted to come back in. Nobody was allowed in the theater without the instructor’s supervision, and Kian thought it’d be best if they just left without doing anything - but this was their only chance to be in the theater with nobody around, and it was an opportunity they weren’t going to miss!

They adjusted their backpack and walked further backstage. They’d been there before, of course, but hadn’t had time to actually look at everything carefully. Maybe they could even explore the prop room!

As they reached the door to said room, a red glow caught their attention from the corner of their eye. Quickly Kian turned to look at it, but it disappeared before they could get a good look.

They scanned the room carefully. The red light hadn’t come from any machine, so it wasn’t just flashing on and off… The glow had come from a corner where there was no machinery, they could tell that just by the ghost light. So it had to be something else.

After about a minute of just staring into the distance, hoping to see the light again, Kian shrugged and stepped into the prop room, turning on the light to look around.

They spent a good 30 minutes just messing around with the props when suddenly, the light flashed in front of them, just outside the door. This time, it didn’t go away, even as Kian stared into the flame.

It  _ was _ a flame - a red flame, not like any they had ever seen. They stepped closer tentatively, reaching out a hand… the flame felt warm, hot, they couldn’t touch it, but somehow they were certain it wouldn’t burn down the theater.

“Uhh… theater ghost, is that you?” Kian asked the flame. Every theater kid knows that every theater is haunted. Or at least, it’s a common myth.

The flame only flickered in response.

“What are you?” they asked, more softly this time, daring to step a bit closer. They racked their brain for something to say. “Are you pleased with my performance? That was only a rehearsal, you know. You’ve gotta come tomorrow for the real thing.”

At this, the flame went out, but Kian was left with a strange, warm feeling, like the flame was still with them somehow.


	2. Chapter 2

The warmth of the scarlet flame stuck with Kian for the rest of the day, and by the time they settled into bed for the night, they were in one of the best moods they’d experienced in a long while. The flame just felt so soft and warm, like a campfire on a cool summer night, but it was spread throughout their body and left no part of them too warm or cold.

_ Even better, _ they thought as they fell asleep easily.

A heart beat steadily.

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

Scarlet fire filled the air.

Kian opened their eyes and looked around. It was warmer now. A bit too warm for their tastes, but it wasn’t too bad…

They stepped closer to the beating heart and gasped. The organ was not flesh - rather, it appeared to be  _ fabric, _ stitched together neatly yet crudely, as if whoever had made it didn’t really know what they were doing but wanted to do the best job they could. The beat continued, perfectly evenly.

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

“Hello?” Kian said. “Is anyone here?”

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

What was this place? Were they dreaming? Yeah. That must be it. They were dreaming. If they focused, they could see red glowing dreamcatchers float around the edges of their vision. Well, that made it pretty obvious, didn’t it?

They sat down on the floor, which was also made of fabric. It was like they were inside a tent. It looked kind of like a circus tent, actually.  _ That’s pretty cool. What kind of shows do they have here? I bet they eat fire or juggle fire or… something with fire. There’s a lot of fire here, _ Kian thought.

“So, who are you, anyway?” they asked, looking up at the patchwork heart. “You  _ are _ alive, right? Otherwise why would you be a literal beating heart? Unless you’re a machine. Are you a machine?”

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

“Sorry. That was probably rude. Oh! I’m Kian.” They stood up and took a bow. “I’m guessing you saw my uhh… rehearsal. I’m sorry I can’t just perform that for you right now. It’s kind of a group act. But I hope you enjoyed it, and I hope you can come back tomorrow to watch the real thing! I think I really got my lines down!”

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

“Maybe you don’t actually care,” Kian chuckled. “Maybe I’m just making a fool out of myself. But hey, maybe that’s interesting to you too?” They shrugged. “How would I know?”

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

“Uh… so, it looks like I’ve got some time before I wake up… do you want to hear a song? I’m still working on my singing, but I do really enjoy it!” they tried.

_ Bum-bump. _ It was the same beat as always, but it seemed encouraging somehow, so Kian opened their mouth and began to sing.

They had a song in mind, but before those words could escape their lips, a new song popped into their head as if by magic. Caught a bit off-guard, they sang nonetheless,

_ “When flames burn bright inside one’s mind, _

_ Kin heed the call ‘cross lands and time.” _

At hearing, knowing,  _ singing _ the strange lyrics, Kian gasped and pressed their lips together. A few moments passed.

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

Did it want them to keep going? It really felt like it wanted them to keep going.

_ “A spark of red lights the darkest dream, _

_ Scarlet nightmares bright and wild, _

_ Visions dance and flames do speak, _

_ Burn the father, feed the child. _

“Um… Nightmare King……. I don’t know how I know that.” Kian shook their head. “I don’t - what is this crazy dream!?”

_ Bum-bump. _


	3. Chapter 3

_ Bum-bump bum-bump bum-bump bum-bump bum-bump _

Kian’s heart raced as they jolted awake. Where had that song come from? They knew they’d never heard it before, and they didn’t know how to write songs like that. Who was the Nightmare King and how had they known who he was? They were certain that was what he was called - the Nightmare King. Nightmare King… something. He had a name. They didn’t know the name. It was right on the tip of their tongue, but nope, they definitely did not know it.

They checked their watch. It was only a little bit past midnight. Kian shivered a little bit. The warmth of the flame was gone. Maybe they shouldn’t have yelled in the dream.  _ Maybe if I go back to sleep now I can learn the rest of that song… and the Nightmare King’s name. _

The dream did not return, and Kian slept fitfully for the rest of the night.

The next day, they felt sluggish after not getting enough sleep, but got ready for the day nonetheless, dressing in black jeans, a red T-shirt with a picture of a video game character they liked on it, and a gray hoodie, and making sure to make themself a nice big cup of coffee. Not bothering to comb their curly brown hair, they did the best they could with just running their brown-skinned fingers through it. Only once they got on their bike did they realize they’d forgotten their large round glasses, making them run back to put them on.

They ended up arriving a few minutes late, but luckily the teacher was still doing roll call, and since she was pretty lenient Kian wasn’t marked late.

It was performance day, of course, and Kian leaned back in their chair to watch the first two acts. The first was a comedy sketch but they found that a lot of the humor wasn’t actually very funny, so they found themself daydreaming for much of it. They clapped absentmindendly as the second act started, but by that time they were so lost in thought about the dream they’d had the night before that they weren’t even sure what the second act was about.

They barely registered it when the teacher called, “Justine, Will, Kian, and Avery!”

_ Shit, it’s my turn, _ Kian thought, trying to remember their lines.  _ I had it down so good yesterday! But now all I got is uhhhhhhhhhhh scarlet fucking nightmares! _

“Sorry, guys,” they said eventually. “I got no sleep last night. Can’t remember any of my lines. You won’t lose credit, only I will, but I’m getting my script.”

Once they were ready, Kian and their group introduced themselves and their act, then Will said his line and immediately Kian blanked. They just couldn’t focus! This was never hard for them before, so why now?

They couldn’t just leave now. It was their turn to say their line. They stared at the script but the words were illegible, despite being neatly typed.

“When flame burns bright inside one’s mind, kin head the call ‘cross lands and time… wait a minute… Sorry. I’ve been - ugh - never mind.” Kian ran off stage, dropping their script on their chair and leaving the theater, blushing profusely.

They had to think about this some more. If they couldn’t get the Nightmare King out of their head, maybe they had to finish listening to what he had to say. If he had to say something. Maybe they just needed to learn the rest of the song!

Kian retrieved their backpack. “Sorry, I’m not feeling well,” they said quickly, as they left the building. Hopping on their bike, they headed home, then went straight to bed, despite it being only around 1 PM. 

Because of the sleepless night before, it wasn’t hard for Kian to fall asleep now, and sure enough, they opened their eyes to the sight of the patchwork tent and the beating heart.

“I’m not really sure what to do here… so I guess I’ll start singing…” they said. “Wait, no. If I’m going to perform for you, I have to do it right, don’t I?”

They took a deep breath and stood up straight, taking off their hoodie to show their red shirt. It only occurred to them now that they were wearing the color of the mysterious flames… “My name is Kian, and I will be singing… oh, what is this song called? I’ll be singing the Nightmare Heart song. That’s all I can call it until you give me a title.

_ “When flame burns bright inside one’s mind, _

_ Kin heed the call ‘cross lands and time. _

_ A spark of red lights the darkest dream, _

_ Scarlet nightmares bright and wild. _

_ Visions dance and flames do speak, _

_ Burn the father, feed the child. _

_ Your realm’s just a part of perpetual loop, _

_ So prepare the stage _

_ And meet the Grimm Troupe!” _

They were really getting into it now! And now they had more lyrics! The Grimm Troupe, huh… They weren’t sure what that was, but it sounded pretty cool. They couldn’t help the smile on their face as they continued,

_ “Shadows dream of endless fire, _

_ Flames devour and embers swoop. _

_ One will light the Nightmare Lantern, _

_ Call and serve in Grimm’s dread troupe! _

_ Dance and die and live forever, _

_ Silent voices shout and sing! _

_ Stand before the Troupe’s dark heart, _

_ Burn away the Nightmare King!” _

As they took their bow, Kian knew they’d finished the song. It was so satisfying to finally have all the lyrics! Somehow, even though they’d kind of just figured it out themself, they knew they had it right, and that they had it memorized it so well they could recite it easily at any time, forwards or backwards or inside out.

As they straightened up, a small, concentrated red flame appeared in front of Kian’s face. As the Nightmare Heart beat in the background ( _ bum-bump bum-bump _ ), they heard the flame  _ whisper _ to them.

_ “Follow me,” _ it said.  _ “When the sun sets, follow what the Heart tells you and you will find me.” _

“Do-do you mean in the real world?” they asked, but when they blinked, they were no longer dreaming - rather, they were wide awake, sitting up in bed, and with a new goal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some of the song lyrics are from this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMWaO4BhQqg Great song, I highly recommend. I should add that the original lyrics are mostly from Hollow Knight, but I took a bit from the Lazy Moonkin song.
> 
> I can't wait for Kian to see the bug accordion. I like the bug accordion.


	4. Chapter 4

Kian checked their watch. They’d only been asleep for about an hour, and the Nightmare King had told them to find him at sunset. Or did he mean  _ after _ sunset? They had no way to know, and decided to leave as soon as it started getting dark.

In the meantime, they wrote down the lyrics to the song they’d learned from the dream - not that they thought they’d ever forget it, but it felt nice to have it down on paper. After that, they started doodling in the margins - the Nightmare Heart and its fabric veins and arteries, surrounded by flames and floating illusory dreamcatchers. It was honestly incredibly beautiful, though grotesque.

As they waited, Kian tried to piece together the limited knowledge they had to figure out what exactly was going on. The song mentioned the “Grimm Troupe.” That was definitely connected to the Nightmare Heart. The Nightmare King… Kian remembered that he had a name, but they didn’t know what it was. Could it be Grimm? Nightmare King Grimm. That sounded right. And the Grimm Troupe was his… circus troupe? How could they be sure they had anything to do with the performing arts at all? The biggest hint was honestly the fact that the flame had appeared in a theater. Well, that was a pretty big hint, wasn’t it?

They rested their head on their desk, trying to clear their head. This was confusing. Hopefully tonight they’d get some answers!

As the sun began to set, Kian got ready to leave, with a brief call to their parents, “I’m going for a bike ride! Might stop at a friend’s house for a while. Be back later!” Then they hopped on their bike and headed out.

They didn’t know which way to go, and the Nightmare King -  _ Grimm, _ they remembered - had told them that the Heart would lead them. How could that work if they weren’t dreaming? Well, they were still thinking, right?

“Nightmare Heart? Where are you?” Kian asked aloud, heading down the street in a random direction.

There was no response - of course.

They approached a T-intersection. Which way to go…? They were on the right side of the street, so it’d be easier to turn right, and that’s what they’d do if they were just out for exercise.

Something told them to turn left, and they did, though they weren’t sure what it was. Nobody, and nothing, was talking to them, and they heard no voices in their head, but some strange instict seemed to be directing them.

They continued on, turning when it felt right. The longer they went on, the more certain of themself they became. They entered a neighborhood they hadn’t really explored before, but knew exactly which way to go. Turn left. Go straight. Turn right. Go straight for a few blocks. Turn left again.

They’d reached a park, with a small playground and a large grove of trees in the back. The place was vaguely familiar, but they hadn’t really explored it, and they  _ certainly _ had never been here at night.

Kian got off their bike, walking it into the park and heading into the grove as they watched the sun set, painting the clouds a beautiful gradient of orange and pink. It seemed to get darker as they neared the trees - faster than was possible, but Kian felt no alarm. They were almost at their destination.

The sky above the trees was black as midnight with no moon or stars to be seen, and at the center of the darkness was a small, orderly pile of dirt.

The tiny, silent voice in their head told Kian to dig, and they did, feeling around on the ground for a stick to use as a tool. It was slow going, since the dirt was surprisingly tightly-packed considering it was in somewhat of a mound, but they kept digging - even after the mound had been destroyed and they were below ground level. There was something here - they knew it.

They began to hum as they worked - a different song, but they knew it was still a Grimm Troupe song. They weren’t sure when they’d learned it, but this whole event was just a bunch of them knowing stuff they’d never learned, so maybe it just didn’t matter.

Kian stopped. They’d hit something in the dirt. Something hard. This was what they’d been looking for! They reached down with a hand and touched it. It felt like a hard, durable wood pole, and was still mostly buried - but they’d found it! Excitedly, they continued digging with a newfound vigor, until they had uncovered what seemed, in the very limited light, to be a staff of some sort. They couldn’t tell what color it was, but it was probably a dark color, and if Kian placed the bottom of the staff on the ground, the tip, which was decorated with many pointy extensions that flared outward, came up to around their shoulders. 

“I guess this is what I needed,” Kian said aloud to themself, though something told them they weren’t done here. This was just an object - they were supposed to talk to Grimm, right? They decided to walk around some more, curling their arm around their staff to hold it as they walked their bike.

Suddenly, as they turned to head deeper into the forest, the tip of the staff lit up! A scarlet flame burned brightly, as if inviting Kian to continue, and they did, quickly figuring out that the flame was brighter when they were going the right direction.

The more they walked, the darker it got, until Kian was certain they were no longer in the park anymore - the grove wasn’t that big, for one thing. Now their path was a straight line, and they walked on until they saw a faint red light as if at the end of a tunnel.

Riding their bike like a scooter with one foot on the pedal, Kian sped up, holding both their bike and the torch tightly as they made their way across the new floor that they were certain was now the fabric of the Grimm Troupe’s tent.

Finally, there was a puff of smoke a few feet away from Kian and a strange, inhuman figure appeared in front of them.

He had curved, red horns, a pale face with glowing red eyes vertically intersected by dark lines down his face, and a long, flowing, tattered cloak. He was skinny, his stick-thin legs ending simply in points, but his cloak gave his figure a more imposing shape that Kian couldn’t help but marvel at.

“Hello, Nightmare King Grimm,” Kian said shyly.

Grimm turned to face them. “Well met, Kian. Have you been enjoying the Nightmare Realm?” His voice was incredibly deep and raspy, but not unfriendly - he was, in fact, very genteel and welcoming.

_ That sounds oxymoronic, but very hilarious out of context, _ Kian thought, but their answer was honest. “Yes, though messing up on stage in real life wasn’t great.” They chuckled nervously. Talking to people was way harder when they didn’t have a script, not to mention talking to a strange nightmare ringleader!

Grimm chuckled lightheartedly. “Oh, but this is real life! The Nightmare Realm is merely a different plane of existence. You have travelled to another world, my dear, and I am here so that I may answer whatever questions you may have… before I give you an  _ offer. _ ”

The “offer” sounded ominous for some reason, but intriguing all the same. “What kind of offer?” Kian asked.

“Let us leave that for later, shall we? I can tell you have many more relevant questions for the time being. For example, what is the Grimm Troupe? Who am I? And what do we have to do with the Nightmare Heart?”

Kian opened their mouth to agree,  _ yes, how did you know? _ , but Grimm continued on before they could speak. “I am Nightmare King Grimm, as you have cleverly deduced. I am the leader of the Grimm Troupe, and we exist to perform a ritual. This consists of gathering the flames of the universe’s fallen kingdoms, and feeding them to the Grimmchild, who unfortunately you cannot meet at this moment… but try to draw them back in the waking world and you’ll see what they look like. After this is complete, my counterpart in the waking world, Troupe Master Grimm, will burn, and the Grimmchild will take his place. It is an endless cycle necessary to keep the Nightmare Heart beating, and in turn, keep the Nightmare Realm alive.”

“Wow, that’s a lot to take in,” Kian said. “Why is the Nightmare Realm so important?”

Grimm must have expected this question, because he didn’t miss a beat as he said, “Balance, my friend. It keeps the world in balance. For without nightmares, dreams will take over… and we can’t have that. No, no… dreams are very dangerous things.”

“I… I guess without fear, there would be no common sense…” Kian agreed.

Grimm shook his head. “It has little to do with that. The Goddess of Dreams is not… benevolent. But enough about her. Do you have any other questions, dear Kian?”

“Yeah. Why are you a theater ghost?”

“Oh! I simply enjoy the performing arts.” Grimm chuckled. “And that is why it is you who stands before me on this fine night! Oh, you will make an excellent addition to the Troupe.”

“What? Is that - is that what you’re gonna offer me?” Kian asked.

Grimm nodded. “I’ll give you another day to think about it. Return to me tomorrow night if you are interested.”

“Wait. What would that… consist of?”

“You would travel through worlds with us, as  _ one _ of us. You may have not met the other members yet but there are many, and I am certain you would become fast friends and work wonders together. We put on shows, acting, singing, dancing, acrobatics, anything you can think of, we’ve done! And the Ritual is yet another incredible performance that keeps this world alive. As the Nightmare Heart is allowed to live forever, the Troupe, in turn, does as well. Every member will be granted eternal life.” Grimm explained.

“Oh.” Kian said. “ _ Oh.  _ Um. You’re offering me… a place to live… a path to travel in life… and  _ the ability to live forever. _ That’s a pretty big deal!”

“Just know that you will be bound to the Troupe. If you were to leave, you would likely be stuck in a foreign world, and you would lose your eternal life as well as your memories.”

“Oh, so basically I can’t change my mind. No pressure!” Kian put their head in their hands anxiously.

The Nightmare King stepped forward and put a bony hand on their shoulder, prompting them to look up. “Which is more important to you? The world of Earth, which is doomed to fall as evidenced by the scarlet fire surrounding it, or your true calling? Think on it, and return tomorrow if you would like to become a Grimmkin.”

Kian blinked and sat up in bed.  _ Did that… even happen? _ they thought, looking around. It was the middle of the night, and they were still fully dressed in the clothes from the day before… but beside them in the bed was the Grimm Troupe torch, the fire now extinguished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a longer one! does that mean i'm getting into the groove? maybe


	5. Chapter 5

Seeing as it was still nighttime and Kian did have school the next day (albeit not theater class), they figured it’d be a good idea to try and get a good night’s sleep. They changed into their pajamas and snuggled down under the covers, propping the torch up against the side of the bed.

It was surprisingly easy to sleep - Kian thought they might have problems with dreams keeping them up, but Grimm left them alone for the rest of the night.

The same was not true for the next day.

Kian biked to school the next morning, wishing they could bring their torch but knowing it’d be weird to bring it to math class.

Math was Kian’s least favorite class, but they took it for the credits anyway, thinking they might be glad they’d done it later. Not that they knew what degree they wanted. They liked theater, but they were pretty sure they couldn’t, and didn’t want to, make it a career. They weren’t cut out for professional acting.

The Grimm Troupe, though… that was different, wasn’t it? More fun, less competitive. Though Kian didn’t know much about them, they were certain the Grimm Troupe was a happy, lively place, despite being creatures of nightmares. They got a warm, happy feeling just thinking about them.

Kian arrived at their class a couple minutes early, and took the time to get out their notebook and start doodling. They started with drawing Nightmare King Grimm, whose appearance they could remember perfectly despite having only seen them in what was most likely a dream.

It was a dream, right? The whole thing was so confusing. They had biked to a park, found the torch, walked into an alternate dimension, and woken up in bed. Their bike had even been placed in the garage right where it’d been before leaving last night. Grimm was certainly… considerate, at least.

The teacher stood at the front of the room and began taking roll as Kian was working on drawing the lines of Grimm’s cloak.  _ Will I get to wear a cloak like that when I join? _ they found themself wondering.  _ Wait, did I just decide to join the Grimm Troupe? _

The lecture was starting and Kian tried their best to pay attention. This class was incredibly boring, but at least it was informative. They scribbled down notes in between doodles - they tried to draw the Grimmchild and came up with a little flying worm-like creature with a single pointed horn on the back of its head. They weren’t sure how they knew what the Grimmchild looked like, but then again, Grimm himself had told them that they’d figure it out if they tried drawing them.

_ I wonder what the other Grimmkin look like, _ Kian thought as they started a new doodle. They barely even had to look at the paper - their hand moved instictively to create the image, and soon they had a little picture of a floating, somewhat round creature with a wispy tail, stubby horns, and a mask with lines crossing over the eyes like Grimm himself. The facial markings seemed to just be a constant for members of the Grimm Troupe.  _ Well, they look pretty cool, _ Kian thought.

Before they knew it, a worksheet was being passed out. Was the class over? No, no, this was classwork, not homework.

Kian stared at the page. The teacher must have just explained how to do the problems, but Kian couldn’t remember a thing. The damn Grimm Troupe had distracted them again! It was all they could think about! Briefly they thought maybe it would have been better if they’d stayed home and just emailed the teacher to say they were sick, but that wouldn’t really have helped. It wasn’t like they could go back to the Nightmare Realm until nighttime anyway.

They decided to spend the time thinking about whether or not they should join the Grimm Troupe, and flipped to a new page in their notebook to write a list of pros and cons.

**Pros:**

**-It’s a great aesthetic.**

**-My questions about this would be answered.**

**-I’d be allowed to dedicate my life to acting and singing and probably other stuff I like without the pressure of making money or being competitive.**

**-I’d make a bunch of new friends.**

**-I’d get to see other worlds! WTF!**

**-LIVE FUCKING FOREVER.**

**Cons:**

**-When they travel, they probably never come back to the same place again. I just have a feeling. If I go with them, I’ll never come back.**

**-I leave my friends and my family.**

**Wait. Didn’t he say this world was going to fall?**

Kian turned the page so they didn’t have to look at their notes. Had this weird nightmare theater ghost just told them that the world was going to end? If it was, then what could possibly be holding them back? Sure, they’d be leaving their family and friends behind… They cared about their parents, but being the age they were, they were honestly just excited to get away from them for a while. But, forever? They didn’t want to do that! They’d been avoiding thinking about life in the distant future with their parents old and eventually dead. But now that time wouldn’t even get to come!

How long would it be before the world ended? Was it going to be a few days? Months? Years? Maybe, since Grimm was probably millions of years old, he was thinking really far in advance. For their friends’ sake, Kian hoped that was it.

They hadn’t actually known Will, Justine, and Avery for that long, only a couple months. They had met because they were classmates, and while they did get along, they weren’t super close. Kian would be sad to leave them, but they’d figured that eventually enough time would pass when they weren’t all in school together and they would grow apart.  _ Honestly, why would anyone want to keep in touch with me? _ Kian thought.

They realized they couldn’t think of any more cons, but also thought they probably didn’t know everything there was to know about the Grimm Troupe. There had to be a catch, right? They’d just have to ask Grimm himself. Until then… oh, waiting was so hard! They decided to just try their best to pay attention to the lecture. The teacher was just about to give out the answers to the worksheet and Kian filled them in to study later.  _ If there is a later, _ they thought.  _ Well, it’s still good to know this stuff, right? Ehh……. Yeah it probably doesn’t matter. _

The day dragged on. Kian spent a long time considering their two options, but they knew they couldn’t make a decision until they talked to Grimm again.

Later that night, Kian made their way back to the park, carrying their torch strapped to their back. Their parents were suspicious about what they were doing, but Kian simply explained that they were trying to get more exercise, which their parents couldn’t complain about.

Talking to Nightmare King Grimm had become somewhat of a routine for Kian at this point, so they weren’t really surprised when they walked into the small grove at the park and were transported to the red patchwork tent. The Nightmare King stood before them, waiting patiently.

“Welcome back, Kian. Have you made your decision?” he asked.

“I’m… considering your offer,” Kian replied. “I just want to know… is there like, a catch? ‘Cause in stories, being invited to join something like this usually comes with some sort of curse. What exactly will happen to me if and when I join the Grimm Troupe?”

Grimm paused for a moment. Kian guessed he was thinking, but his face didn’t really have much expression to it, so they couldn’t tell what about. Eventually he spoke again, “Would you like me to explain the process of the initiation?”

“Initiation? You make this sound like a cult…” Kian said, laughing nervously. “Yes please, um, Nightmare King.”

“First, I’d like to clarify something. This realm is purely in a dream… but currently, the Grimm Troupe is located between dimensions. We do take physical form when we visit the locations where we conduct the Ritual, and when we are not conducting the Ritual, we still exist, but not on the material plane. Does that make sense?”

Kian considered for a moment. “I… no, not really. But it makes more sense than it did before you explained it, so that’s something.”

“I understand. It takes time. Now. The initiation is a short ceremony that takes place on the stage in our tent in the waking world. During the ceremony, you will wear the uniform that you will be provided with, and my counterpart in the waking world, Troupe Master Grimm, will present you with your mask. The moment he places it on your face, your heart will burn away and you will be transformed into a Grimmkin.”

“Wait wait wait. That just sounds like I’m gonna die!” Kian panicked. “I  _ knew _ there was a catch!”

Grimm nodded slightly. “The Grimm Troupe’s magic revolves around burning away so that one can be reborn. It will hurt, but once it is over, you will feel more alive than ever.” Kian could see a bit of a smile on his face, a wide, jagged mouth making itself visible. Grimm continued, “You will no longer be required to consume sustenance aside from the flames of fallen kingdoms. The Nightmare Heart will keep you alive in place of your human heart. You will be bound to the Troupe forever, and you will never be able to remove your mask.”

Kian’s hand unconsciously came up to touch their own face. “Okay. Okay. I need a bit of time to think this over. Okay, Grimm, you said a bunch of stuff about fallen kingdoms… are you telling me that the world is going to end!?”

“It will take many decades, but I am already seeing the first embers of your kingdom’s fall. To answer your question… yes, Kian. The world as you know it will end, and we will conduct our Ritual on your planet, no matter whether or not your join us.”

“Okay… so basically, join you or die in like… Well, I’ll be able to live a full life before the… kingdom’s fall, right? But what am I going to do during that life…?” They were mostly just talking to themself at this point.

“I would like to add that I see you fit to join the Troupe because it will likely be the happiest place for you.” Grimm put a hand on Kian’s shoulder. “The Grimm Troupe is not like your world and its people’s worldly desires. We do not compete to be better than our peers; we do not have or need money; we perform because it is not only our duty, but our passion. You have that passion, do you not?”

“Yeah! Once I get on stage, the real world just disappears and I get to pretend I’m in an entirely different world, with completely different problems! And all I have to worry about is remembering my lines, or singing on key, or dancing in time. And all that just gets better with practice.”

Grimm grinned. “Then, have you made your choice?”

Kian thought for a moment. They had something to lose, sure - but they had so much more to gain.

“Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still gotta think of a better title for this story.  
edit: did that. this story was previously titled "Are you pleased with my performance?"


	6. Chapter 6

“I would like to join the Grimm Troupe,” Kian said.

“Excellent!” Nightmare King Grimm said. “Would you like a day to say your goodbyes, or shall I bring you to the Troupe’s tent in the waking world now?”

“I… I think I’d rather leave this world on a positive note,” Kian decided. “But I want to say something to my Internet friends real quick. Do… do cell phones work here?” They pulled out their phone.

“I will bring you back to your world and return in five minutes. Is that acceptable?” Grimm asked.

Kian nodded, and the next thing they knew, they were standing in the middle of the grove, with stars visible in the night sky. They sent a message on each social media site and chatroom that they used, each saying the same thing:  **I’m moving to a place that doesn’t have Internet. It could be a long while before I come back. It’s a nice place, don’t worry.**

They had just finished when suddenly, there was a puff of red smoke and Kian found themself inside the Grimm Troupe’s tent yet again. This appeared to be a different part of it, or perhaps a different tent with the same aesthetic. The Nightmare Heart couldn’t be seen, and the floating dreamcatchers weren’t there either. This was the waking world.

Grimm stood in front of them as usual, but he looked different - his horns were shorter, and both his horns and his cloak were black, though his eyes and the cloak’s lining remained red.

“So you’re… Troupe Master Grimm. Not Nightmare King Grimm,” Kian stated, a bit confused.

“Indeed. Well met, friend! If you wouldn’t mind, may I have that torch back, please?” Grimm held out his hand, and Kian shyly handed over the torch they were carrying. Grimm twirled it in the air, making it disappear in a puff of smoke. As if it was nothing, he continued speaking, “Thank you very much. Welcome to the Grimm Troupe, Kian! Though, you’ll soon be known by a different name, of course.”

Kian took a surprised step back. “Wait. You - I mean, Nightmare King Grimm - didn’t say anything about that!”

Grimm nodded. “By joining the Grimm Troupe, you leave your old life behind, and choose a new name. It will come to you easily once your physical transformation is complete.”

“But… I dunno if you know this, but Kian isn’t my birth name, Grimm. I chose it when I realized I was non-binary. It’s actually… really important to me.”

“Ah… I see. Usually when a new Grimmkin dons the mask, a new name comes to their mind - but if you truly identify with your current name, it is possible that you will not think of a new one, and in that case, you may keep your old name,” Grimm explained.

“...Okay. That makes me feel a lot better,” Kian said. “And nobody will ever say my birth name again!” They couldn’t help but grin at that.

“Good. I want you to be happy here,” Grimm said. “Now, your initiation ceremony will take place tomorrow, but until then, it would be a good idea to learn your way around the tent - it is bigger than it appears. You’ll be given your own bedroom, and of course, new clothing. You should also take this time to meet the other Grimmkin.”

“Got it,” Kian said. “Wait, do you need to know my clothing sizes?”

“No, no. I use magic for this.”

“Wow…” Kian marveled. “I mean, of course there’s magic in the Grimm Troupe! Of course.”

“One more thing, Kian.”

“Y-yes?”

“I am the Master of this Troupe. Grimmkin shall refer to me as ‘Master’ or ‘Master Grimm’. Do you understand?” He sounded like he was trying to be as nice as possible but there’s really no nice way to say “call me Master.”

“Yes, Master,” Kian agreed, thinking,  _ yep, this is a weird monster cult circus. What an aesthetic. _

They didn’t really mind, they realized. Everything was different here, but it wasn’t a bad thing. It was exciting!

Grimm nodded in approval. “I must get to work, but first, follow me.” He began walking down the hallway they were standing in.  _ A tent with a hallway. Who woulda thunk it? _ Kian thought as they walked behind Grimm.

The hallway opened up into a large common room of sorts, filled with various creatures, many of which closely resembled the small Grimmkin Kian has drawn in their notebook. Some were bigger though, and a few were completely different. Many of them resembled humanoid bugs, which Kian felt would probably have put some people off, but it didn’t bother them. 

Grimm walked up to a… what exactly were they, anyway? a Troupe member with small, curved horns, a big poofy scarf of some sort around his neck, and muscular, gray striped arms, who was sitting on a big, red couch. “Kian, this is Brumm, a musician. He does a lot for the Troupe. You’ll be seeing him around quite a bit.” Grimm’s voice changed somehow as he talked about Brumm, but Kian couldn’t quite put their finger on it. 

“Nice to meet you, Brumm!” Kian said, offering a hand to shake and discreetly examining Brumm’s mask. All the Grimmkin except Grimm himself had one, it seemed. It probably  _ was _ just like that.

Brumm shook Kian’s hand. “Mrmm… likewise. Welcome.” It sounded like he didn’t talk much.

“What instrument do you play?” Kian asked.

“Accordion. You’ll hear a lot of it if you stay here.”

“Oh, cool! That must be a really hard instrument to play.”

Brumm nodded. “Mrm… I have a lot of practice.”

“You got all the time in the world, huh…” Kian mused.

“I am happy to see you are getting along. Kian, I need to set up your living space now. I’ll call you when I’m ready,” Grimm said.

“Okay - I mean, yes, Master.” Kian blushed and shook their head.

As Grimm walked off, Brumm spoke up again. “Mrmm. Why is it that you want to join the Grimm Troupe?”

“I guess I just want a purpose in life,” Kian said. “I can’t really make a living off doing what I love if I’m just a normal person, and I think I’d be really sad.”

Brumm nodded. “I just want to make sure you are completely sure of this choice. You are, after all, giving Master your life.”

Kian thought about what Grimm had told them. “...Yeah. I guess. But in a way, he’s giving me a life. So I’m sure I want to join.

“So… can I hear your accordion?”

Brumm chuckled. “I suppose. Wait here.” He stood up on his short, stubby legs (he had no feet either. Was Kian the only human here?) and walked into another hallway on the other side of the room. There was still room on the couch even if Brumm was on it, so Kian sat down next to where he’d been. It was incredibly comfortable, one of the softest couches they’d ever sat on, without it being so soft that they’d get lost in it. They leaned back and closed their eyes, relaxing. The room was pretty warm, but it was a nice sort of warm, and Kian figured they wouldn’t mind once their entire life force was made of fire.

Brumm returned about a minute later, carrying what appeared to be a very large, dead bug. Sitting down next to Kian, he got ready to… play the bug like an accordion? Well, it wasn’t surprising that this place was even weirder than it seemed.

He squeezed the bug and a beautiful sound came out somehow. As he began playing, Kian realized they already knew the song. They had hummed it to themself the day before! For a few moments, they simply listened, and eventually started humming along. Brumm chuckled. 

It was a short song, and it was over after about a minute. Brumm set his bug-accordion on his lap and said, “Mrm. So you already know this song. Your humming sounded wonderful.”

Kian grinned widely. “Thanks! So um… how does a dead bug work as an accordion?”

“It’s an accordion bug. In life, these critters make music whenever they move. Don’t feel too bad about this one - they died of old age.”

“That’s pretty neat… I guess that’s from some other world, huh…”

Brumm nodded. “Mrmm.”

“Sweet.” Kian closed their eyes and leaned back. “Thanks for showing me that. You’re a great musician!”

“Thank you, Kian,” Brumm said softly. “I’m going to put my instrument away now. Master is probably almost done with your room.”

“That fast?! Wow,” Kian replied.

Brumm walked away, leaving Kian to continue to lean back and relax on the couch. 

It was a few minutes before Grimm and Brumm came into the common room together and approached Kian, who looked up and opened their eyes at the sound of their approach.

“Your room is ready. Follow me, Kian,” Grimm said. Kian nodded and stood up.

Grimm led them into the same hallway they’d seen Brumm walk into earlier. The fabric walls had evenly-spaced tent flaps along them, and many of them had little signs on the front. Most of the signs stated names, but a couple were just labelled “storage,” and the one at the end of the hall was blank. “Here we are,” Grimm said, gesturing toward the room with the blank sign. “The sign will display your name once you join us. For now, take a look inside!”

“Okay…” Kian pushed the fabric flap aside and stepped into the room. It was surprisingly homey - it was just like a regular bedroom, albeit fairly small and of course, with fabric walls. The lighting was dim enough that Kian was pretty sure they could sleep with it, but they could also see around the room. There was a small but very comfortable-looking bed with a plush red blanket and two large, fluffy pillows, a desk and chair, a few shelves, and a fancy wardrobe. Grimm entered the room behind Kian, while Brumm said a quick “see you later, Master” and walked away.

Grimm opened the wardrobe, displaying the contents to Kian. There was actually a lot of clothing inside - not a whole lot of variety, with the color palette limited to a couple shades each of red, black, and gray, but they still looked pretty nice. It was mostly formalwear, like button-up shirts, slacks, vests, and coats, but there were also a couple of cloaks that resembled Grimm’s own.

“Ooh, nice,” Kian said. “Not many opportunities to wear fancy clothes back at home.”

“This will be everyday wear at your new home here. We are performers, after all. We have to look our best,” Grimm said, a hint of playfulness in his voice.

“Of course, Master,” Kian agreed.

Grimm nodded. “I shall step out so you may change in privacy.”

“Thanks,” Kian said as Grimm left their room. Then they began looking through the closet. There was a surprising amount of options! They decided to go as close to what they were already wearing as they could, at least for now.

Kian shrugged off their dark blue denim jacket and pulled off their T-shirt, jeans, and sneakers, putting the old clothes in the wardrobe before putting on a pair of black dress pants, a red shirt, and a dark bluish-gray vest, along with a pair of black fancy shoes they found on the floor of the wardrobe. They took a moment to admire their reflection in the full-length mirror on the inside of the door, then stepped out of the room.

While they were changing, something occurred to them, and they brought it up with Grimm now. “Master Grimm? I just want to let you know something.” Oh man, it was an uncomfortable topic, but they had to mention it.

“Yes?” Grimm asked politely.

“I only have the chest binder I came with, and I need at least two so I can wash one and wear one. Otherwise they give me really bad acne.”

“Ah! I did provide you with three binders. They are on the top shelf of the wardrobe in a bin with the other undergarments.”

“Oh wow! Thanks!” Kian said, relieved.

“You are very welcome.” Grimm looked Kian up and down, seeing what clothes they’d chosen. “You look excellent, might I add.”

Kian blushed. “Thank you, Master.”

“Well, now that you have been acquainted with your surroundings, you may spend the rest of the night however you’d like. Our waking and sleeping schedule is not linked to the day or night of any planet, but many people do sleep at this time, so if you would like to, feel free. There are pajamas in a bin on the shelf in your wardrobe. Tomorrow, everyone will gather for your initiation ceremony, so I recommend getting some rest,” Grimm said.

“I think I’ll do that, Master Grimm. Good night,” Kian agreed, re-entering their room. They found a very comfortable set of flannel loungewear, quickly changed, and flopped down on the bed. As expected, it was one of the most comfortable beds they’d ever slept on, and they fell asleep easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally wrote a chapter with over 2000 words! :D Also, the Bug Accordion has appeared~


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I finally have a pic of Kian to show you guys! It's just a couple little doodles - the one on the left is before they joined the Troupe and the one on the right is after.  
https://imgur.com/fwnHO5Z

Kian wasn’t sure how long it had been since they’d fallen asleep, but apparently it had been several hours, since they felt well-rested when Grimm’s voice echoed down the hall. “Grimmkin big and small, come one and all, to welcome a new member to the Grimm Troupe!”

They sat up and rubbed their eyes, taking a few more moments to relax before getting out of bed and getting dressed in the same outfit they’d tried on the night before. For a minute, they stared at their reflection, looking into their own eyes. _ After this, _ they thought, _ I will never see my own face again. _

They considered taking one last selfie, but when they checked their phone, it was out of batteries, and there were no outlets or chargers here. They were without connection to their old home. They truly were starting a new life… A life of happy nightmares, new friends, and no faces.

Kian made their way to the auditorium, which was a massive room connected to the common room. There was a big stage framed by deep red curtains, and rows and rows of seats. They caught sight of Grimm, who waved a hand to direct Kian backstage. They followed, their heart pounding excitedly and nervously in their chest. _ Is this the last time I’ll ever feel my heart race? _ they thought as they slipped behind the curtains and approached Grimm.

“Hello, Master Grimm,” they said, a bit awkwardly.

“Hello, Kian. Good morning - though 'morning' means little in this realm,” Grimm greeted. “Are you ready? Now is your last chance to back out.”

Kian shook their head. “No. I’ve come this far, I’m going to see this through.”

“Very good. Now, wait back here. I will call you up when the time comes.”

They nodded. “Yes, Master Grimm.”

Grimm bowed a little as he left the backstage area, then made his way to the middle of the stage. Kian watched from behind the curtains on the side. The moment Grimm stood at center stage, the murmuring crowd fell silent, and Grimm began to speak.

“Welcome, Grimmkin! As you know, today marks an important event. For many ages, our ranks have been steady and unchanging. But on this day, we shall welcome a new member of the Grimm Troupe!” He held his hand out to the side where Kian was waiting, which they took as their cue to come onstage. They stood next to Grimm, their legs feeling like jelly, but as they looked at the crowd and how excited they looked even with their faces hidden, they felt the anxiety dissipate. Even though they didn’t have a script, they felt confident, like they knew exactly what they were supposed to do.

_ I was definitely meant to do this, _ they thought as Grimm held a scarlet flame above his hand like magic - well, it _ was _ magic.

“Today, the first-ever _ human _ becomes a Grimmkin!” he announced, stepping behind Kian and peering over their shoulder to look at their face. The fingers of the hand not holding the flame traced the contours of Kian’s face, causing them to shiver as a chill ran up their spine to the back of their head.

Whatever he was doing took a few seconds, but it felt like hours. Kian grinned as Grimm stepped back and took his place beside them, the flame in his hand flickering and growing bigger. Kian could _ hear _ the crackling of the fire as it grew, then suddenly the flame dissipated into sparks with a _ pop _.

In the place of the flame, Grimm held a pure white mask, with pure black eyeholes and lines crossing over them, running from the top of the mask to the bottom. The mask’s shape eerily matched that of Kian’s own face. Grimm held it up, presenting it to the crowd, as he said, “Now, bear witness as a new heart and soul is burned… and a new life born from the ashes.”

He stood behind Kian again. “Please remove your glasses, my friend. The mask will correct your vision, so there is no need for them,” he instructed. Kian did as asked, tucking the large round glasses into their pants pocket. Then Grimm brought the mask up in front of their face.

Kian took in a deep breath, bracing themself for pain.

As the mask touched their face, they realized they could never brace themself for this.

Their whole body felt like it was on fire. Everything hurt. Their heart beat so fast they thought it might jump out of their chest, until suddenly the moment came where the pain _ increased _ and their heartbeat

slowed

down.

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

_ Bum-bump. _

They realized they were screaming, and took a few more deep breaths to calm themself, resting a hand over their chest. They didn’t feel hot anymore. The pain was completely gone. It had felt like it lasted forever, but now that it was over, Kian realized it had only been a few seconds.

They allowed themself a few more, to feel their new heartbeat, to touch their new mask. They weren’t sure what the mask was made of, but though it was rigid and sturdy, it was lightweight, and they felt like they’d get used to it very quickly. Though the eyeholes looked dark from the outside, it was incredibly easy to see out of them. Grimm was right - they definitely didn’t need glasses anymore.

“Now, would you like to introduce yourself?” Grimm asked dramatically. The crowd leaned forward excitedly in their seats.

“My name is Kian,” Kian said. “I chose the name for myself and there is no other name that feels better to me. Thank you for understanding.”

Grimm nodded. “Thank you for welcoming Kian to the Grimm Troupe! And congratulations, Kian. You are now an official Grimmkin!”

The crowd cheered, and Kian grinned behind their mask as Grimm took their hand and bowed, telling Kian to bow too. They were practiced at the gesture, and made it as dramatic as possible, matching perfectly with Grimm himself. 

When Kian and Grimm straightened up, Grimm ended the ceremony with a, “Have a wonderful day, my Grimmkin!”

Everyone began to file out of the theater, Kian and Grimm walking down the stairs on stage right. Before Kian went to the common room, though, Grimm stopped them with a gentle hand on their shoulder. Kian turned to face him as he looked them up and down.

“What is it, Master Grimm?” Kian asked after a second.

Grimm chuckled and shook his head. “When you become a Grimmkin, your physical form begins to change. Some things happen immediately, but others take time. I am… curious to see how a human’s body will change.”

“W-what would change?”

“Primarily, your size. This hasn’t happened yet, but you will slowly grow bigger… no taller than I am, but it is likely that your muscle mass will increase. After many ages as a member of the Troupe, your eyes may also begin to glow red like my own… however, right now, you are displaying a different Grimmkin trait that may even grow more with time.”

“What… would that be?”

Grimm’s hand came up to touch something on Kian’s head, though he didn’t touch their head itself… though, Kian could still feel the sensation. They shivered as Grimm spoke his next words. “You have horns.”

“What!? That’s awesome!” Kian gasped, feeling the top of their head. Sure enough, on each side of their head was a small horn, curving up and inward, reaching a full length of a couple inches. Not very big, but still! They had _ horns! _ “If you’ll kindly excuse me, Master Grimm, I’d like to take a look in my mirror.”

“Go right ahead, Kian.”

“Thank you so much for this, Master Grimm!” they called as they ran to their room as fast as their feet could carry them, almost getting tangled in the tent’s fabric as they ran past the flap over the entrance to their room. There, they yanked the wardrobe open to look in the mirror and gasped at the sight.

The first thing that caught their eye was not their horns but their mask. Its pure white color contrasted beautifully with the other colors of the room and their clothes, skin, and hair. Kian had to admit, it suited them.

They tore their eyes away from their mask to look at the top of their head, their eyes falling on the small black horns nestled in their hair, almost hidden by the abundant curls. Kian quickly discovered that their horns weren’t very sensitive, but they could still feel it if something or someone touched them. They seemed to be made of something similar to a bug’s shell, which Kian would have thought was strange if they hadn’t seen that there were actually a lot of bug-like creatures in the Grimm Troupe, and were very tough - they couldn’t scratch the horns with their fingernails if they tried. They were as sturdy and solid as their skull.

Kian stood in front of the mirror for at least half an hour - not that they really had ways to measure time here - just admiring their new appearance and touching their horns - it felt so weird to just suddenly have them! At one point, their nose got itchy, but when they scratched their mask, it actually worked to get rid of the itch, as if the mask was in fact their own face. But they could still feel their skin beneath it, their mouth move when they spoke, and though the outward appearance wasn’t altered when they closed their eyes, they knew they still could do such a thing. Either way, the mask was much more comfortable than Kian had thought it could possibly be, so they weren’t complaining.

They finally returned to the common room, only for a large group of Grimmkin to crowd around them, shouting questions so loudly that Kian couldn’t hear any of them. Eventually they shouted, “GUYS, PLEASE! ONE AT A TIME!”

The Grimmkin looked around at each other, their gazes eventually settling on the one floating right in front of Kian. They spoke up in a deep, masuline voice, “What’s being a human like?”

Kian sighed. “What’s being a… floating little demon guy like?”

The Grimmkin, who Kian suddenly knew somehow was a Master, sighed. “Uhh… good point.”

“I’m going to sit down. If you’d like to ask me questions, it’s okay, but like, don’t crowd me, all right?” Kian asked.

“Sorry,” a few Grimmkin muttered. 

“Thanks,” Kian chuckled, plopping down on the couch.

They chatted with the Grimmkin for what was probably hours back on Earth, until they felt too tired to continue and said, “I’m going to bed, guys. It was nice to meet you!”

When they had made it under the fluffy blanket of their bed, they thought about the day they’d had. It was probably the weirdest, coolest, and best thing they’d ever experienced, though the pain of their heart burning away was worse than they could even imagine. But it hadn’t hurt for very long at all, so it wasn’t really what they remembered of the ceremony.

Their hand came up to rest on top of their head, absentmindedly playing with their horns. _ I wonder what Mom and Dad would have thought of this, _ they thought. _ I’m really gonna miss them… and they’re really gonna miss me. I feel like I should’ve told them about this… but I am gonna see them again, aren’t I? When the Troupe - when we - conduct the Ritual on Earth. They’ll be there. I hope they get to know how happy I am. _

They tried not to think of their parents or friends any more. They wished they could have thought of a way to explain what was going on, but they didn’t, and now it was too late. The best thing they could do was live the best life they could, as they had joined the Grimm Troupe to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally gave the fic a good title! xD Anyway, this is the chapter I was really looking forward to. The next stuff is going to be a lot harder to write because I don't have it planned out as well, but I do have some ideas, so there will absolutely be more.
> 
> This chapter brings up the fic to over 10,000 words, which is a HUGE accomplishment for me! So thanks for reading! It really means a lot!


	8. Chapter 8

It was hard to fall asleep. It was only Kian’s second night, and they weren’t used to the new bedroom yet, but this night it was even harder than it had been the night before. While their mask was comfortable, it felt strange to sleep in it, but when Kian tried to take it off, it wouldn’t budge. There wasn’t even a strap - it was just magically bound to their face. Really, Kian just felt _ weird _ \- in this moment, it was very clear to them that they were no longer fully human, and their body _ felt _ different. It was… unsettling.

They laid on their back, staring up at the fabric ceiling of the tent, resting a hand over their chest and feeling their unusually regular heartbeat. It would never speed up when they were excited or slow down when they were calm. It was no longer their own heart, but an extension of the Nightmare Heart, and it would forever beat at the same pace as all the other Grimmkin whose lives the Nightmare Heart supported. It was strange how, by losing the central part of themself, Kian was able to live forever… 

_ Forever is such a long time, _ they thought. _ I feel like after a while, I’ll get tired of this… but with infinite universes, how could I be bored? _

Kian didn’t remember falling asleep, but the next thing they knew, Grimm’s voice filled the halls, telling all the Grimmkin that it was time to wake up. They sleepily rubbed their eyes, wishing they could have coffee, though knowing they couldn’t eat or drink anymore. Another human function they’d never have again.

It took a few minutes for them to finally roll out of bed. They got dressed, brushed their hair (the horns got in the way a bit, but they managed, figuring they’d get used to them eventually), and made their way to the common room, which wasn’t completely full, but the majority of other Grimmkin were already there.

It occurred to Kian that, since the Grimm Troupe wasn’t currently conducting the Ritual, they didn’t really have much of anything to do, at least not that they knew of. That didn’t seem right, though… maybe someone here would be able to answer their questions?

Kian looked around the room. Many of the Grimmkin looked very similar and fell into one of three ranks - Novice, Master, and Nightmare; but some of them were different, like Brumm, and Kian themself. Brumm didn’t seem to be here at the moment, but after a few minutes, they did see Grimm, off in a corner. Guessing that he was the best person to ask about what to do in their free time, Kian walked over to him.

“Master Grimm?” they said tentatively.

“Ah! Hello, Kian,” he replied. Kian noticed he was holding something in his cloak - or someone. They couldn’t see much of them, but by the shape of the little one’s head, they wondered if that was the Grimmchild. The next thing Grimm said, though, confirmed it: “I don’t believe you’ve met my child yet, have you?”

“No,” Kian said. “I know what they look like though. I drew them one time, before I joined the Troupe, and it was really weird, I just kind of figured it out by doing that.”

Grimm nodded. “Nightmares are a part of one’s subconscious. This is common for those who are on their way to joining the Troupe.” He shifted his arm that held the Grimmchild, showing them to Kian. They really looked like their drawing - a little chubby worm-like body, ribbon-like wings, and a head that closely resembled Grimm’s own, but with a single horn and pure black eyes rather than red. Tentatively, Kian reached out their finger for Grimmchild to grab, as if they were a human baby.

To Kian’s surprise, Grimmchild actually did respond, gently wrapping a wing around Kian’s finger. “Aww, you’re so cute!” they cooed, as Grimm watched with a loving smile visible on his face even with his lack of human facial features. “Do they have a name, or is it just Grimmchild?”

Grimm paused for a moment. “Their name is the same as my own. Someday, I will burn, and the Child will take my place as the next Troupe Master Grimm.”

“So, you just… reincarnate. You’re like, their past life or something,” Kian said.

Grimm nodded. “Indeed.”

“Huh. So you used to look like this?”

“Yes.”

For a few minutes, Kian played with the Grimmchild, until they remembered what they’d come for. “Master, what should I do when we’re not in the middle of a Ritual? It seems like not much is going on at the moment…”

“We rehearse our performances, and search the universe for flames,” Grimm explained. “We are a travelling circus - we do not stay in one place for long, even in this world between worlds.”

“So, we don’t only go to new places when they’re about to fall?”

“We can go anywhere we like, but only as a group. No Grimmkin can stray far from the Nightmare Heart.”

“R-right. ‘Cause it’s like, the thing keeping us alive, right?”

Grimm nodded.

“Okay, so. What should I do right now, Master?” Kian asked.

“Right now, please relax and get to know some new people! Later, you will start lessons in Grimm Troupe performance arts.”

“Okay. Cool. Um. Thanks for answering my questions, G- Master Grimm.”

“My pleasure!” Grimm said as Kian stepped back and walked off.

It took a while to find a couch that wasn’t totally packed with Grimmkin, but eventually Kian came to one in a corner that was strangely very empty. Shrugging, they sat down, hoping someone nice would notice they were there. That was how they’d managed to make the few friends they had back home…

Staring into the crowd, they didn’t notice when a large bug, bigger than they were, came up beside them. She began to speak, causing Kian to jump back in surprise. “Aaaah! Who is this? The new Grimmkin, aren’t you?” She leaned in, giving Kian an uncomfortably clear view of her face, half of which was covered by an unusual mask (even for Grimm Troupe standards). Her antennae twitched cheerfully as she continued, “Yes, yes! What a curiosity. You’re called a _ human, _ right?”

“Um… yeah? I’m a human… my name is Kian. What about you?” Kian said, shifting uncomfortably in their seat and trying to move back as subtly as possible.

“My name is Divine!” She leaned in even closer. “Ooh, Kian, you have such an intriguing smell, yes!”

“Um… Divine, do you think you could just… back off a little bit, please?” Kian said.

Divine looked a bit disappointed, but she moved away a few feet. “How sad… human doesn’t like when bugs are too close. How cruel…”

“Uh… it’s called personal space. Anyway, what’s wrong with the way I smell? Are there even showers here?”

“No no no! The smell is nice! Yes, very nice! Never smelled anything like it, no!”

Kian had no idea how to respond to that. “...Thanks?”

“You are very welcome, Kian! Say, why don’t you tell me a little more about yourself, hm? Oh, I _ must _know why your smell is so unique!”

“‘Cause I’m not a bug? I’m not really sure how to answer that, Divine.”

“True, true. New lovely is no bug! How is it, to not be a bug? Oh, it must be terrible!”

“It’s all right, I guess?” Kian answered. “I’ve never thought about that before, haha…”

Divine went to sit on the couch, moving by wiggling her legless, segmented lower body. “Curious. Aaah! That is very intriguing, lovely human! Never thought about it before. Surely the question has crossed your mind at some point, ‘why am I not a bug?’”

“Not really, no. Also, where I come from, bugs are really small and not sapient, sooooo… I’m just as confused as you are, to be honest.” Kian explained. “Hey, what’s your role in the Troupe, anyway? What do you do?"

“Ah… I am merely along for the ride. I accompany the Master on his quest! Provide company, and friendship, yes.”

“Huh. Is that why you don’t have a mask like this?” Kian pointed at their own mask. “You’re the only one I’ve seen besides Master Grimm and the Child who doesn’t have their whole face covered.”

“Aaaaah! Yes, clever human!” Divine reached up a claw and shifted the position of her mask a bit - not enough to reveal what was beneath it, but enough to show that it wasn’t affixed to her face like Kian’s was. “My mask does not bind me. I am not connected to the Nightmare Heart. I travel as I please - but usually, what I please is to be with the Troupe, yes! Beauties, lovelies, every last one of you.” She poked Kian’s chest with the tip of her claw - not enough to hurt, but enough to make them lean back uncomfortably. “Aah… personal space, yes? Apologies,” she added when she saw their reaction, pulling her claw away.

“...Thanks.”

Their conversation continued for a while, Kian eventually beginning to relax as Divine backed off a bit (after being repeatedly asked to). While Kian definitely did not like her, they could appreciate her uniqueness. The way she made them feel was nothing compared to other people Kian had met, after all. At least Divine treated Kian as a person.

Nevertheless, they were relieved when Grimm announced, “All Grimmkin, please prepare for rehearsal!”

“Well, it was nice to meet you, Divine. I gotta go find out what I’m supposed to do now,” Kian said as they stood up and looked around at the other Grimmkin, floating around the room in a hurry.

“See you later, dear!” Divine replied.

Kian walked off quickly and looked around for Grimm. It took them a short while to find him, but unfortunately, he was in the middle of a large crowd and very obviously busy. Unsure what else to do, Kian decided to look for Brumm instead.

Brumm was somewhat harder to find, but easier to reach, as he wasn’t being crowded as much. Eventually Kian made it to him, feeling like they should be out of breath but they weren’t, and they asked, “Do you know where I’m supposed to go now? I can’t reach Master Grimm at the moment, and I thought you might know…”

“Mrmm… I do not know your schedule. I suggest waiting until the crowd disperses, then asking Master.”

“All right, thanks,” Kian said, relieved that the Troupe was apparently lenient enough for that. To be fair, it wasn’t like their Master could expect Kian to know where to go when they had never been told.

They made their way to a corner of the room, where they waited for the Grimmkin to file into a nearby hallway and disappear into various rooms. It was a different hallway than the one that led to the bedrooms, and Kian wondered what these rooms were like. 

Eventually, the only ones left in the common room were Grimm and Kian.

“Master?” Kian asked, “Where am I supposed to go now?”

Grimm looked down at them as if only just noticing they were there. “Ah, Kian. Thank you for waiting. We have not yet discussed your role in the Troupe, have we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter fought me a lot, to be honest. I'm not sure how to write Divine at all, and it's kind of hard to think of the daily routine of a Grimmkin. I'm basically just making everything up, which I suppose is just how art is, huh? It's kind of hard for me to do that with writing, but this fic is teaching me a lot about it. Hopefully it'll get better as I keep going!


	9. Chapter 9

“No… I still haven’t even seen a performance yet, so I’m not really sure what there is to do. I assume you have something for me though, seeing as you first appeared to me in my theater class…” Kian said.

Grimm shook his head slowly. “The flame… is not me. It is a manifestation of the fall of a kingdom… though the word ‘kingdom’ is used loosely here. Though… they are only visible by one of my kin… I do not know how you were able to see it before you joined.”

“I just started seeing the Nightmare Heart in my dreams, and knowing things that I couldn’t possibly know, after I saw the flame.”

To Kian’s surprise, Grimm chuckled. “It seems the Heart is full of surprises, even to its vessel.” Kian tilted their head, confused. “The Nightmare Heart, the source of our power, resides within me. I am bound to it and do its bidding, just as you do. We are part of each other, but it is not me, nor am I it,” he explained. “The Heart… appears to have chosen you, since before you saw the flame.”

“...Why me?” Kian asked. “I’m not that important. I’m just a depressed kid who doesn’t know what direction to take their life in.”

“That may be why you were chosen. This is a rare occurrence, though I do not doubt the Nightmare Heart’s decision. Now, what do you like to do?”

“Well, um… I like to sing and dance, but my favorite thing is acting, especially in musicals where I get to do all of those things. But I really like any sort of performance!”

“ Well, we are preparing many performances for the next world we visit… oh, but that is your world, correct? Perhaps you could suggest improvements we could make to our shows to make them more appealing to your people!”

“Um…”

“Apologies. I’m getting off track. The Grimmkin are rehearsing their dance routines on the stage right now. If you’d like to watch, and perhaps join in, they would welcome you. Different groups use the stage at different times, so you might like to stay awhile and watch them all.” 

“Okay, cool,” Kian said. “Thanks, Master.”

“Have fun!” Grimm said as Kian headed over to the stage.

It was no ordinary dance. Most Grimmkin floated in midair and didn’t really have legs, so obviously many of the moves Kian knew weren’t possible - but then again, these people weren’t from Kian’s world. They had entirely different styles and traditions and dance moves. Many of them involved fire, which the Grimmkin seemed to be able to summon at will.

_ Can I do that? _ Kian wondered. _ I am a Grimmkin, after all, right? _ They leaned forward to watch how the others moved when they created fire - not normal fire, it was the weird red fire that Kian had seen in the school theater. When the performers had finished their routine, Kian stood up and applauded, but before they started dancing again, Kian hurried over to the stage. The instructor was a strange, humanoid moth-like being, with large red-and-black wings and a mask covering the top half of her face, and she turned to look at Kian as they approached.

“Hey! That was really awesome! Can I talk to you for a minute, please?” they asked.

“If it’s just for a minute, sure,” the instructor replied. “If you’d like to ask me something with a longer answer, you can come back to me when we’re done here. But what’s your name? Sorry, I saw you at your initiation ceremony yet I still can’t remember it.”

“I’m Kian.”

“Ruby. Pleased to meet you!” She gave a slight bow.

“I just wanted to know how you guys can just… summon fire? Like, Master Grimm didn’t tell me I’d be able to do that, is there some requirement you have to meet or is that… something I can do?”

“Ah, yes. The Master did tell me that I would be teaching you how to summon the flames… but not right now, since we’re in the middle of a rehearsal. Why don’t you sit and observe for now, perhaps try to learn something by watching or just enjoy the show? It will be over before not too long, and then we’ll have some free time for your lesson.” Ruby winked at Kian behind her mask, which was hard to see but Kian definitely felt the energy of the wink.

“Okay,” Kian said, sitting back down in the front row of the house.

The Grimmkin on the stage ran through the dance again, and as Kian watched, they found themself trying to copy some of the moves. Eventually they got really into it, and became more confident, forgetting how silly they probably looked.

Before they knew it, about what we might classify as an hour had passed, and the Grimmkin were filing off the stage. One of them came up to Kian and said, “You looked like you were having fun!”

Kian blushed, blessing their mask for hiding such an expression of embarrassment. “Oh, um… I was just… practicing.” Unfortunately their voice betrayed it.

“Keep up the good work!” the Grimmkin said.

“You really think that was good?”

“Yeah, for a first try, and not knowing the routine? You didn’t have to try and follow along like you did, but you did it anyway! That’s really cool.”

“Wow! Thanks!” Kian wasn’t sure how to respond to the praise, but they felt as if a small fire inside them had grown a bit.

“Kian!” Ruby called from the stage.

“See you around,” the Grimmkin said, waving to Kian as they floated away.

Still beaming, Kian made their way to the stage, speed-walking to the side of the stage to climb the stairs up. “I’m here!” they announced cheerfully.

“Are you ready to get started with your first lesson?” Ruby asked.

“Ready as I’ll ever be!”

“All right. Now, as Grimmkin, we have a variety of powers. We can summon the scarlet flames of nightmare,” - she demonstrated by holding up a small, flickering flame - “we can teleport, so long as we do not use this power to stray too far from the Nightmare Heart,” - she disappeared into a puff of smoke, reappearing a couple feet to the left of where she had been a split-second ago - “many of us can fly, whether it be a natural ability or one granted by the Nightmare Heart, but this takes some practice for those who do not have it naturally… you couldn’t fly before, could you Kian?”

“No. I wish!”

“You likely someday will be able to. The last power I’ll demonstrate is really another form of the first, but much more intense.” Ruby raised a hand in the air, and a spot on the floor a couple feet away from her began to glow. A second later, a huge geyser of flame erupted from that spot, reaching far over Kian’s head.

“Whoa!” they exclaimed.

“Yeah, that one’s more advanced too. Typically only the Grimmkin Nightmares can do it. Them, and Nightmare King Grimm.”

“So I guess you’re really good then, huh?” Kian said.

“I suppose. I’ve been here a very long time. Can’t remember anything before the Troupe. Though, that’s true for a lot of us.” She smiled lightly, but this statement made Kian wonder. Did people lose their memory if they stayed in the Grimm Troupe for long enough? They already knew _ leaving _ the Troupe would cause one to lose their memories though, so did it matter?

“Well!” Ruby’s voice broke Kian out of their train of midly disturbing thoughts. “Why don’t we get started with summoning a small flame?”

“Sure! Okay, how do I do that?”

“In order to harness the power of the Nightmare Heart’s flames, you must recognize, and _ feel_, your connection to it. When you joined the Troupe, of course, your heart and soul were consumed in this flame, and such a flame continues to burn inside you.”

“Yeah, it felt warmer when I got excited!”

“Good! You can focus on that feeling, it will probably help. Hold out your hand, like this.” Ruby held out her claw in front of her and cupped it the best she could (she didn’t exactly have human hands). Kian mimicked her. “Now, focus on manifesting that flame in the palm of your hand. It will not burn you, for it is a part of the Nightmare Heart and as such, a part of you. The fire is an extension of yourself.”

Kian stared at their hand, narrowing their eyes in concentration. They felt the warmth in their chest flicker a bit, but nothing else seemed to be happening. They looked up at Ruby for further instruction, wondering what they were doing wrong.

“It’s okay if you don’t get it the first try. Keep working on it, and take a short break if you need to. If you don’t get it even by the end of this practice time, it’s all right.”

“Okay. Okay.” Kian reassured themself, taking a deep breath. As they inhaled, then exhaled, they felt their warmth fluctuate a bit, as if their breath stoked the flame. They rested the hand they weren’t using to try and hold the fire on their chest and focused on the warm feeling.

Inhale. The flame grew stronger.

Exhale. It flickered a bit.

Inhale. It felt hot. Not burning, not uncomfortable, but hot nonetheless.

Exhale. _ I can do this. I can do this, _ Kian thought.

Inhale. A tiny, scarlet flame ignited in the palm of their hand.

Exhale. The flame went out, but Kian didn’t care. “I did it! Did you see it?”

“I did!” Ruby exclaimed. “Good job! You actually figured that out pretty quickly!”

“I-I did?”

“Yeah, not everyone gets it in, what, two tries? That’s really good! Do you want to try again, or are you done for now?”

“I want to try again. Maybe I can get it to last longer.”

“All right, go ahead,” Ruby said.

Kian focused, realizing that in order to summon the flame, they had to focus not on the hand holding it but on the fire itself. Just feel the warmth in their chest, feel the way it acted as an extension of their body, and control it just as if they would any other such part of them.

The flame they conjured this time was bigger, filling the palm of their hand, and it didn’t go out so quickly either. Kian held it up, bringing it in front of their mask and feeling how the fire licked its surface. It was warm and comforting and didn’t burn at all.

After a few moments, they deeply inhaled, causing the flame to grow, and they spun around and swirled the flame around them, letting sparks fly into the air and gently flicker out. To finish the dance move, they snapped their fingers to put out the flame, which disappeared in a beautiful shower of red sparks.

“Wow!” Ruby applauded. “Excellent! You’re doing very well.”

“Thanks!” Kian said. “Man, that was fun. I can’t believe I actually created fire out of thin air!”

Ruby chuckled. “Really, the fire was within you - you just manifested it outside your body.”

“Well it sounds kinda gross when you say it that way,” Kian joked. Ruby simply looked at them strangely.

“Never mind,” Kian said quickly.

After a moment of awkward silence, Ruby said, “So! Uh, I didn’t actually expect you to get it that fast. Do you want to practice some dance moves with the fire?”

“Sure!”

“All right. Let’s get started…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait in between chapters! I wasn't sure what I wanted to write next for the longest time, but inspiration struck today in the midst of somewhat of a depressive episode and I finally got myself to write. I'm not sure if or when I'll be posting the next chapter, but I do still have ideas for this story, so I hope to keep it going. I love the Grimm Troupe and this is a sort of escapist fantasy for me, so I do quite enjoy it.
> 
> Sorry for giving the OC in this chapter somewhat of an uncreative name. I didn't want to get caught up on little details, I just wanted to write a story that made me feel good!


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